Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

I was quite excited when I saw this book at Asda. It was coming up to my birthday and my in-laws were wondering what to buy me, so I asked them for this.

Skulduggery Pleasant is a detective. A dead detective. A dead, skeletal detective. When his rich, author friend Gordon dies and leaves everything to his niece, Stephanie, Skulduggery Pleasant and Stephanie become entangled in a plot that could see the end of the world as they know it if something isn't done about it forthwith!

Sounds exciting, don't it? And it is. There's plenty of action. Skulduggery cracks some excellent one-liners. Monsters and vampires abound, but there's just something lacking in it.

I'll put it down to it being a first book of an obviously projected series (but the awful bit with the Cleaver and the opening-for-a-sequel bit is really an unforgivable rush job). Skulduggery Pleasant had some very good bits and some seemingly rushed bit, which let the book down.

Rating: 3 out of 5
Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy
Published by Harper Collins
Price: £12.99
ISBN: 978-0-00-724161-3

The Conch Bearer by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

Take Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist' and stick it into an Indian setting and you have The Conch Bearer. But, that's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, unlike the last Chicken House book I read, The Conch Bearer is a tale that I think one day will rival Paulo Coelho's modern classic.

It is the tale of Anand, a poor boy in India who dreams of escaping his mundane life. One day his dream comes true when an old man, who Anand takes pity on and feeds, convinces the youngster to go with him on a journey to a secret valley to restore a magical conch shell in its rightful place.

The characters are well thought out. Anand acts like a young boy, unlike the characters in the Craphole on Falling Star Hill. He gets jealous, frightened, upset, angry but he can also be brave. The little girl he befriends is also a welcome addition. Annoying Anand immensely, but also becoming one of the people he cares about the most.

The Conch Bearer can feel a bit loopy in places, but generally, this fantasy tale of trust, love and betrayal pulls the right heartstrings and is thoroughly enjoyable. And Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni is hot! Really, really hot. :)

Rating: 4 out of 5
The Conch Bearer by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
Price: well, I got it for a quid, but £12.99 hardback.
Publisher: The Chicken House
ISBN: 1-904442-11-0

The House on Falling Star Hill by Michael Molloy

This book is Crap.

Is that not enough?

Okay. This book is really crap.

I refuse to review this pile of dog's noses! The fact that I bought this for a quid at Poundland might give you some idea what the quality of this crud is.

On the back cover is "Read it! Try page 94." Very Private Eye.

Stay away! Unclean! Unclean!




The House on Falling Star Hill by Michael Molloy
Published by The Chicken House
ISBN: 1-904442-26-9
Price: £1 from Poundland. £12.99 elsewhere.

The Cup of the World by John Dickinson

I've read many, many fantasy stories in my time. I'd probably say that it's my favourite genre, so I was well chuffed to win a copy of The Cup of the World, the debut book from John Dickinson, as I had heard many positive things about it.

"Has the claustrophobic feel of a political and moral thriller that constantly surprises your expectations," says Books For Keeps.

They must have been reading some other book then. To put it bluntly, this book is boring. The first two parts (of three) boil down to a dull as it can get love story. Only in the third and final part is the action brought in, but by that time you're about ready to chuck it at the cat.

The Cup of the World started out really rather well, with witch trials, a girl who appears to have an angel as a companion, and a little bit of political wrangling that any half decent fantasy novel has to have. However, when you are shown who Phaedre's angel is, it goes downhill from there.

I suppose a quick synopsis is in order, for those out there who may want to read this dishwater.

Phaedra is the daughter of the warden of Trant, a frontier land in the kingdom. She has a companion that is only seen by her, who she can talk to in real life and meet its shadow in her dreams. Phaedra is very beautiful and is soon courted by the powerful barons and princes of the land, but her heart lies with the stranger in her dreams.

When it appears that she will be married off to the second in line for the throne, she contacts her dream bloke and he, who just happens to be real and ruler of another part of the kingdom, comes and rescues her, marries her, has a child and then starts an invasion of the kingdom.

Betrayal, faith and a girl's journey into womanhood follow. If you care enough.

The Cup of the World is the first book of what undoubtfully will become a stereotypical trilogy, and maybe the story will improve with the adventures of Ambrose, Phaedra's son, but I really doubt it.

Rating: 1 out of 5.
The Cup of the World by John Dickinson
Published by Random House
ISBN: 0-552-54886-3
Price: £5.99

Sebastian Darke: Prince of Fools by Philip Caveney

Once every thousand years or so, there comes a book that is so unputdownable it beggars belief. Sebastian Darke: Prince of Fools is one of them.

The storyline, in a nutshell, is quite standard affair - man seeks his fortune, rescues a princess, discovers princess' evil uncle is hellbent on her demise, rescues princess, saves the day.

But the characters are just ace! There's Sebastian himself, a jester who's not very good at telling jokes, Cornelius the midget hardcase, who's not afraid to beat the living crap out of the toughest and strongest of men. We've also got Max, the talking Buffalope beast of burden, who is very sardonic in nature but can kick plenty of butt. And there's also a hot princess who can hold her own too.

There's violence aplenty, which is always good in my book. The novel is also full of very funny scenes and some touching moments too. The jokes and action come thick and fast and there's never a moment when you are bored and flicking through.

This book rocks and gets my first 5 out of 5 score.

Score: 5 out of 5

Sebastian Darke: Prince of Fools by Philip Caveney

Published by Bodley Head Childrens Books

ISBN: 978-0370329154

Price: £7.99

Buster Bayliss: The Big Freeze by Philip Reeve

I picked up this book from my local library. I quite liked the last Buster Bayliss book I read (Day of the Hamster), so was quite looking forward to it. This adventure begins with a parody of Time Team, which may not really work for kids or at least kids outside the UK. For those not sure, Time Team is a programme on the telly where archeologists finally get a little cool!

Buster Bayliss is a young lad who keeps landing in situations where he has to save the world from certain doom. In this adventure, a bunch of TV archeologists working on an ancient burial mound unearth the spirit of the Winter King. Buster must use all his wit and cunning to defeat the evil spirit before winter takes over the world.

The book, I thought, was a good one. It was a little slow to begin with and had a less than subtle, environmental message. Once the story got going, however, it was quite the page turner. Funny in places, laugh out loud in others. I enjoyed it.

The Buster Bayliss novels are aimed at the younger end of the market. Philip Reeve also writes the award winning "Mortal Engines" series of books.

Buster Bayliss: The Big Freeze by Philip Reeve.
ISBN: 0-439-95570-X
Published by Scholastic.
Price: £4.99.

Measle and the Slitherghoul by Ian Ogilvy

This is the fourth of the Measle books by former "The Saint", Ian Ogilvy. The other books are:

• Measle and the Wrathmonk



• Measle and the Dragodon



• Measle and the Mallockee

Measle Stubbs is a young boy who lives with his parents and little baby sister. His dad is a wizard, and Prime Magus of all magic users, his mother, whilst not magical herself, is what is known as a manafount (infinite magical power that can be drawn upon by a wizard) and his sister is a Mallockee - an extremely powerful magic user. Measle has no magical powers (none that have manifested yet, that it) but is a very resourceful youngster.

Measle also shares his life with Tinker, a brave dog, Nanny Flannel, the Stubbs' equivalent of Batman's Albert crossed with Granny Weatherwax from Pratchett books and a Wrathmonk called Iggy. Wrathmonks tend to be insane wizards who are only after world domination, but Iggy is quite harmless as Wrathmonks go.

The story begins way in the past at the beginnings of the Wizard's Guild. A young and powerful wizard known as Sheepshank created a devastating spell that turned a glob of his own snot into a dangerous, sticky monster known as the Slitherghoul. The wizards manage to imprison the Slitherghoul, but not before it has devoured Sheepshank.

In the present day the Wizard's Guild is a secret organisation. In his previous three adventures, Measle has managed to help capture four deadly Wrathmonks and a dastardly Warlock (the hierarchy - powerwise - of magical users goes Wizard - Warlock - Wrathmonk) called Toby Jugg who had been trying to take over the Wizard's Guild by killing Measle's dad, marrying his mum and controlling his baby sister.

Whilst Measle is home alone with Nanny Flannel and Iggy (his parents and baby sister are at the South Pole for a secret, and very boring, Wizard's Guild conference), the Slitherghoul escapes its cell and devours Toby Jugg and the four Wrathmonks. Inside the Slitherghoul, Jugg and the Wrathmonks are still alive and manage to influence the Slitherghoul to make its way to Merlin Manor, the home of the Stubbs family, to take their revenge.

And so begins a very exciting, and often scary story. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I did feel that there was some padding added to make the story last longer. What I have noticed about these books is that even though most people would think that they were comedies, I would class them as almost horror. Indeed, the third book, Measle and the Mallockee could give the Point Horror books a run for their money. I felt that this book was not as scary as the third, so maybe Ian Ogilvy toned it down a little?

Overall, if you have read the other four Measle Stubbs books, then you really should read this one. It comes in at 358 pages, justifying it's £8.99 price.

Score: 4 out of 5

Measle and the Slitherghoul by Ian Ogilvy

Published: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 0-19-272615-3

Free Lance and the Lake of Skulls

Today I was making my way to the off licence to buy some crisps and copious amounts of booze, when I noticed the mobile library was parked up alongside the offy. I'm sure that this was coincidence and that librarians aren't all sloshed and bombed off their faces on cheap bottles of grog. Armed with my trusty library card, (just like the main character in The DaVinci Code - snigger) I hopped aboard.





The first book I saw, and which I am reviewing as my first post, was: Free Lance and the Lake of Skulls by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell.


Regular readers of children's fantasy fiction will know these two lads as the pair that created The Edge Chronicles, an award winning fantasy series. For my sins, I have only ever read a couple of those books, but they were excellent so I was quite looking forward to this novella.







Here's the blurb:

Free Lance is hacked off and cold. His horse is lame. Now some great oaf is trying to pick a fight. Business as usual for a knight down on his luck.

But things are about to get interesting. A scheming lord, a hideous hag, an enchanted crown and an appointment with terror at the Lake of Skulls.


Sounds ace, don't it? And it was. Free Lance and the Lake of Skulls is a very short book, but it's packed with humour, violence, gore and adventure. It also has a good looking, buxom bar wench, which is always good in my book.


Written in the first person, the tale of Free Lance the knight begins with our hero, down on his luck, entering a poor village upon his trusty, but aging, warhorse, Jed. The village oaf picks a fight with the knight, who manages to fend him off. The lord of the manor approaches the knight and offers him money to travel to a small island in the middle of a lake, where lies, upon a skull upon a mountain of skulls, a fabled crown that supposedly has the power for the wearer to rule the world.


Free Lance, not believing in such nonsense, gladly accepts the challenge, stables his horse and trundles off to retrieve said crown. And then he meets the murderous hags of doooooooooooooooooooooooooom!


My only concern with this story is that it was very short and, at £6.99, a little steep in the asking price. I think many kids will end up borrowing this from the library like I did.

Overall, a fun little read, with some excellent illustrations throughout (especially of the barmaid!)

3 out of 5.

Free Lance and the Lake of Skulls by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell.
Published by Hodder in 2003.
ISBN: 0-340-87409-0